Family comes in all shapes and sizes, and the holidays are a time to celebrate those connections. Whether you’re hosting or attending a family gathering, it’s important to prioritize inclusion so everyone feels comfortable and welcome.
A phrase used in our “I’m Still Here” approach to memory care encourages that “there is no one right way to have a family visit.” Here are some updated best practices to help ensure this holiday season is both joyful and inclusive for loved ones living with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia.
Prepare for the visit with intention
As you plan your time together, choose to focus on the positive, and try not to bring the day’s baggage or holiday stresses along with you. To help spark conversation, bring along familiar and meaningful items, such as photos or keepsakes. If your loved one has difficulty communicating verbally, try engaging in simple, hands-on activities like decorating cookies, folding napkins or setting the table together.
Before the gathering, gently remind other family members about your loved one’s memory challenges. Encourage everyone to introduce themselves and use simple communication techniques. Talking openly about Alzheimer’s or dementia helps normalize the experience and promotes understanding. Lastly, if someone offers to help, say “yes” – many hands make light work.
Keep stimulus to a minimum and consider doing an activity during your visit
Small, familiar gatherings often work best for people living with dementia. Try to minimize overstimulation by lowering background noise, turning off the TV or video games and choosing soft, familiar holiday music instead.
Providing a simple activity can also help your loved one feel included. Offer choices, such as wrapping gifts or looking through holiday cards, and focus on the process rather than perfection. Demonstrate tasks when possible and allow your loved one to participate in a way that feels natural for them.
Use compassionate and respectful communication
Above all, treat your loved one with dignity and respect. Speak slowly and distinctly, approaching from the front and making steady eye contact. Ask one question at a time, allowing extra time for responses. Avoid “testing” questions like “Do you remember?” and instead focus on sharing in the moment.
Non-verbal communication including smiles and hugs are also effective and meaningful elements to incorporate.
The holidays can bring both joy and challenges when caring for someone with memory loss, but with a little preparation and mindfulness, they can also be deeply meaningful. Focus on connection, not perfection.